Selfish people hardly get to establish good friendships or gain the trust of others.
At some point in our lives, to a greater or lesser extent, we are all selfish . However, there are people who are in excess, so much so that their behavior stands out negatively. When others are selfish we immediately detect it, but when we are selfish, it is hard for us to recognize these attitudes , much less change them.
This behavior can negatively affect our interpersonal relationships. If you think that maybe you act selfishly, it is worth telling you that the most important thing in life is to be well, and for this it is appropriate to feed on good advice.
Characteristics of a selfish person
Selfish people hardly get to establish good friendships or gain the trust of others. Some of the qualities that characterize the selfish are:
- They are not given to share; unless, of course, they want or can get some benefit in return.
- In each situation try to get a reward.
- When they do not get what they want they are spiteful and tend to feel offended.
- Your efforts are minimal.
- They only show interest for themselves, never for others.
- They always want more than they can take, they are insatiable.
- They do not stop until they get what they want.
Their attitude is “first me and then me”, their relationships are toxic, whether they are in a couple, in the workplace or with their friends; Most of the time they are not aware of who they are and the damage they cause to those around them, because they manipulate their environment to get what they want.
What to do if you are selfish?
A selfish behavior can be habitual; However, this does not mean that other attitudes can not be adopted, those that allow us to be more aware of how we are with others in order to improve the quality of interpersonal relationships.
If you think that you are acting selfishly and wish to change this attitude, then you should take into account the following tips:
1. Reflect and accept it
The first step is to detect and recognize the problem, what you do not like and consider that it does not make you a better person. This is essential to take action and be able to make a transformation in you, from those negative habits to positive ones.
You must reflect on how your behavior is and how it affects others and you, since selfish attitudes contribute to deteriorating relationships, causing suffering and feelings of discomfort. It is possible that by recognizing yourself as a selfish person, guilt will take over; however, think that you have just accepted your problem and are in the process of changing.
2. Change your perspective
Changing perspective means that you understand and are willing to accept that other people exist, that they have their ways of thinking and that they also count. That is to say, that there are not only your truths or your reasons.
This requires great effort, but in doing so, half the battle is won; When you have understood this point, you are ready to offer something to others, as opposed to thinking all the time you will only receive.
A study based on brain images, carried out by scientists at the University of California, Los Angeles (UCLA), has concluded that helping others is also of great benefit to those who provide help, and not only to the recipient; So when you give to other people, you will also feel better.
3. Stop believing that you are the center of the world
There is a difference between egotism, egocentricity and selfishness -although for many people it seems the same-, because you can be selfish without needing to be an egotist; However, these concepts are often related. In the case of the egoist, he wants everything for himself, and it is a behavior and an attitude; egotism consists in loving oneself very much; and egocentrism arises when people think that both they and their opinions make up the center of the universe and everything else is below.
They do not always appear together, but it is possible for a person to think a lot about himself, so much so that he does not take others into account or consider his needs. As a result of this, we will see people who, in addition to being self-centered, are also selfish. If you abandon this way of thinking, you can also stop being selfish.
4. You must be empathetic
To stop being a selfish person it is important that you learn to put yourself in the shoes of others. A person capable of feeling the suffering of another will try to relieve him and not harm him. Sometimes we act in a negative way because we are the ones who are on the defensive, we think that others want to hurt us, or that we are victims of prejudices, without stopping to think about the pain we could cause to others.
Therefore, being empathetic is about understanding others, being open to their feelings and emotions.
5. Listen actively
In order to be empathic, it is essential to listen to others, since we pay attention to what others verbalize, and what they express through their nonverbal language and behavior. This is known as “active listening” which is a type of skill that can be acquired and also developed with practice and you can get more info at www.musikji.net.
6. Not only do you receive, it also gives
Once you have understood the feelings of others, as well as their needs, you can then open your heart and really offer a friendship. To be happy we need to be surrounded by people, so that’s why we have to show that others also care about you.
7. Make the effort
What we have said does not mean that it is easy to act, especially when it comes to altruistic and compassionate behavior, precisely because selfishness has to do with the way in which we have been educated, in addition to the fact that society promotes this type of attitude.
It is important to do your part, understand that you will not always get immediate pleasure, or benefits from everything to which we give ourselves, because thinking like this distorts reality and makes us act without taking others into account, or consider the consequences of our Actions.
Life consists of accumulating experiences that mark us, make us grow and create bonds with other people, but when it comes to love, everything fails; so discover what are the types of irresponsible loves that we’ve all had at some time in our lives.